My Memories of Dinner With a Geisha

Magic Carpet Journals takes you to a traditional Japanese Geisha or (Geiko) House for dinner with Barbara Kingstone

A traditional Japanese geisha, dressed in her exquisite kimono.It was one of my most memorable dinners, but it did not have anything to do with the food. What started off in a restaurant in the Gion district of Kyoto became an exciting lasting memory. I had just finished reading Arthur Golden's Memories of a Geisha, however, while I was visiting Kyoto, the last thing I thought would happen was to share a meal with one.

The history of geisha (geiko) goes back 300 years. Once there were a few thousand in Kyoto, now there are only 260 geishas (geikos) remaining with only 15 geiko houses. My first sight of a real working geisha was "older sister". Older sister, now retired, stout and thick waisted, was the projector of the three young women who would soon join the party. I would have assumed that "older sister" would have entered the small dining room dramatically with full heavily applied make up, geisha style. But here she was bare faced, devoid of the white covering we have come to expect.

We learn that novice geisha (maiko), live in an oki (dorm-like residence). "Geikos keep their pride and create their own culture," she said. They are taught to dance and sing. They learn the social rules and to never discuss politics. In return, they are taken care of by 'older sisters', who have, in their own past, gone through the same routine. On this evening, 'older sister' stated she was also "their best friend."

Entering like a slight breeze was Kioto, her face as wide as a panda and somewhere in her mid-thirties. She seemed to float, her long exquisitely embroidered kimono hem just long enough to drape onto the floor covering her sandaled feet. She gave us a faint hesitant smile through her beautifully applied white powered makeup, true red lips and an elaborate Tokyo-styled hair-do (Shimadamage) adorned with jewels. However, to simplify the many hours it takes for these hair-dos, many geikos now wear wigs. Trying to look beneath the layer of white, I could only surmise, that she was not a beauty, her features either too big (nose) or too small (eyes), but her elegance and charm compensated. When she sat, it seemed so effortless as though she melted down several metres. It wasn't difficult to realize she was apprehensive about meeting and talking with a group of international journalists. We were 10, sitting and gawking at her. She needn't have worried. This stunning creature, who seemed to fly off the pages of Golden's novel, mesmerized us. We ate and drank as she answered our questions about the culture and life of geishas. In the history of the geishas, maiko names started with mame or ichi representing the two main maiko lineages from the very famous geishas - Ichisumi and Mamehide.

A typical Japanese garden


Of course, it was predictable that someone would ask her opinion about Golden's book. Koito carefully selected the words stating that it gave geikos a questionable reputation, all untrue nowadays. She offered that in the past there were those who sold their sexual favors but true and well-trained geishas never did and do not nowadays. "One sure way of knowing the difference between a geisha and a prostitute," she told us, "is that the true geisha tucks up her kimono with her left hand while the prostitute used her right." Certainly, there is no prostitution, no sexual contact just plain old simple conviviality with men who wanted to be entertained. Actually, she would make a fine politician with her diplomatic answers. About Golden's book she ventured, "it made good reading." She carefully pointed out that Golden had too often confused geishas (geikos) with prostitutes. The real geishas were more accurately described as entertainers and they were hired for their talent and conversation. She, herself, had always wanted to be a geisha, wanted to learn how to converse with sophisticated people, know manners and "wear and dress in beautiful clothes." She was sweet and charming and indeed, had developed the skills that put us all at ease. When asked how much a geisha is paid, she demurred and bowed, geisha like. I learned later that a good geisha could command as much as $2,000 for each appointment. After a while Koito moved to my end of the low table, refilled my sake cup and sat next to me. Just by coincidence, I had taken a gift, a common gesture in Japan. It was a small box of Canadian maple sugar candies. She was delighted, making such a fuss as though I had given her a diamond-encrusted broach. She put it into one of her flowing sleeves. We talked. Her English was not bad. She enjoyed her life and also enjoyed being able to teach her trade to others. Since her heavily embroidered kimono was a knock out, we wondered about the price. Again she bowed her head and explained, this time through our translator, that her training did not allow her to discuss financial matters. But, Smiley, our guide, later told me, that kimonos for a geisha of her standing often cost tens of thousands of yen and must indicate the seasons in the embroidered scenes.


Enter the "little sister." Off at one side, throughout our discussion was a maiko, or geisha in training, who never took her eyes off Koito. Not as well adorned, in a kimono visibly less costly, but nevertheless still colorful and lovely, this young beauty of 18 seemed terribly shy. However, this was her training ground, 'older sister' told us. Their time with us, about one and a half-hours, had come to an end, but not before their performance. The two danced, slowly and gracefully, to the music of a shamisen, a three stringed instrument resembling a banjo, masterfully played by older sister. A very young girl, about 13 years old, an apprentice maiko, had been partially hidden behind the Japanese screen door and instructed to wait. Just before leaving she joined the others and the trio sang, their voices as lovely as their demeanor. For this Westerner, this was a most unusual evening. Promptly at 8 PM, they departed for their next appointment. Smiley said it would be a full night's work for them. For us it was unforgettable.

By Barbara Kingstone

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Last Updated on January 07, 2006 by M. Maxine George editor.  © 2003 Magic Carpet Journals. All rights reserved